I often forget that I am not my job. I am an attorney and the job has great responsibilities. The job does not stop when I come home in the evenings b/c friends, family and acquaintances are constantly asking me for legal advice and help and I am happy to be a resource. But, where am I in that? Am I a suit-wearing, document drafting, great legal advice giving, white collar, playing the game from the inside-out person or am I something else? Something different?
Being a lawyer is powerful. It gives me access to skills and information that enable me to protect myself and others from potential negative situations. It also enables me to do things like set up an LLC for my art business without having to rely on or pay anyone else. It makes my life easier -- but, is it me? Is it who I am?
I think that when I paint and bedazzle it is actually who I am. It is a reflection of my spirit. My paintings look like what is going on inside of me. Color, joy, sparkling, energy, love, charisma, whimsy, youth, play, humor, light...
Perhaps my job is a reflection of my mind and/or of my intelligence. Then again...I am pretty smart even when I'm not at work, so probably not.
Maybe my job is meaningless. That is an interesting thought to explore since I worked so hard to become a lawyer -- it has never occurred to me that this job is meaningless in the way that it is not a reflection of my true self, my essence, my Ed-ness. I must admit that I put way too much stock in it when I am there during my 9-6 day. Lawyers are pretty great, but in reality it's not so Ally McBeal. Being a lawyer has its perks, but I often feel like an artist wearing a lawyer costume.
When I give advice to my clients, I sometimes think "you have no idea that I paint sparkly chickens, and spend a lot of time with toys, do you?" I actually love that about myself a lot -- that I have all of those facets of my mind and my personality available to me and functioning in ways that allow me to share these talents and support myself with them. In that sense, I am very Ed. He is quite complex, but all aspects of his self are amazing. Nonetheless, Ed doesn't have a JOB. He just be's. He would be how he is no matter where he was or what he was doing. That is a good cue to take from him and it brings me back to the beginning -- being fabulous in all aspects of life.
I can be my Ed-ness no matter where I work, what my title is, what letters I have after my name, or even if I don't work, or even if I paint all day long every day. I just have to choose. It is not always the easiest choice to make -- to be my 100% purest self. Ed knows this all too well. But, he makes it all the time, every day. Ed rocks, and just like him I am 100% me, 100% fabulous. The trick is not to forget that or let a job or a family member or a friend or a situation let me think otherwise. Yep.
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